Waves

It’s been almost a year since my last blog post. It’s amazing how quickly time can go, how much of a blur it can be. This time last year, I was still knee deep in the repatriating weeds.

Recently, one of my dearest friends in the world told me that the way she describes me is the kind of person who can create a warm, loving home and a life for her family no matter where she goes. I would say that’s a pretty astute assessment- but, I will also say, this move was the most challenging of our previous moves.

When you move to a foreign country, most people sympathize with the fact that you’re a fish out of water. They can respect the challenges of learning a new language and culture. More than anything though, it’s exciting! Most people don’t get to have those experiences, and want to live vicariously through those that do.

The problem is, most people don’t understand the growing pains of trying to adjust to your home culture. There are tons of books about acclimating kids, but not a lot for adults. I wonder if it’s partly because there’s this common misconception that all expats stick together and don’t get knee deep in the culture. (I can feel my Italian girlfriends laughing because they know just how native we went during that expat experience!)

The return back was bumpier than when we moved back from Italy, probably in part to the fact that I wasn’t moving and having a baby right away. Babies are an amazing distraction to pour yourself into when you’e in a new place. I know this better than most. I’ve moved mid pregnancy during all 3 pregnancies, and had babies in different states and countries than where I started the pregnancy. Babies are an ice breaker, a door opener, and a community creator.

This time, we moved back with one kid who didn’t know this country at all, one who barely remembered it, and one who was old enough to really appreciate her wonderful life in Zurich- and no one wanted to come back. I didn’t want to come back. I felt that I’d finally found my stride in what I want to do (interiors, traveling, and interviewing exceptional people), so leaving Europe, where I’d begun to feel established, was extremely challenging. We lived in Zurich longer than I’ve ever lived anywhere.

Once we got here, I threw myself into creating a life for the girls. Once February hit, I began to feel like there was space to focus on my business and the things that were for me. What I didn’t anticipate were the waves.

At least once a month, someone would want to go “home”. Hell, sometimes that someone was me. Then we hit the summer, and realized that we’re staying put in Atlanta, and the waves became less. Zurich will always be a home, but finally, we’ve all hit a point where Atlanta is becoming home.

The long and the short of it is, 2020 is going to be a big year for Bow and Branch. The website is going to go through a big refresh, more tips and tricks on decorating your home, and more of “the good stuff”, because frankly, we need more of it. Even more exciting, I’m currently planning my first pop up shoppe.

In the meantime, since I’m recovering from our massive holiday party, and the crazed holiday season, I’ll be checking out until the new year. See you in 2020!

Design Series: Making a House a Home - Shelving

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It’s Super Bowl weekend, and since we live in Atlanta, it’s got us locked down in our neighborhood. Much to my husband’s chagrin, this means I’m contemplating projects.

I’ve been working on making our daughters’ rooms more functional spaces for them. We’re living in a rental, and while I can’t paint the walls and do some of the things I would do if it were our own home, I can do things to make it “ours”. As I’ve been doing this for the last few months, it’s occurred to me that there are so many of you out there, trying to style a place that probably feels less your style than you’d like, or more sterile than you’d prefer.

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This is the first in a series of how to make a new place feel like home. I’ve done this 12 times, and with each move, I’ve gotten better and better at making a house a home, or a flat a home. This doesn’t just apply to rentals, but I just wanted to make sure you renters realize that these are all rental friendly fixes.

We’re going to start with shelving. We’ve had so many different kind of shelving situations. The infamous “cube” shelving from Ikea, standard bookshelves, traditional built-ins, and modern built ins.

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People get really bent out of shape about styling shelves. Let’s stop for a minute. Take a breath. Think about things that you really love. You could Maria Kondo this and think of ‘what sparks joy’. Now, think of things that make sense paired together. We have items from our travels on our living room built ins, as well as coffee table books that we’ve collected from our favorite places. We also have some beautiful children’s books.

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I think most people have some beautiful things that they’re proud to showcase, but have zero idea how to style it. First, let’s start with the rule of 3. I typically follow the rule of 3. This isn’t a hard rule, but it’s a healthy places to start. Take three things that make sense, for instance, pottery in the same color scheme, three books of similar theme, a row of 3 shelves such as the ones we have, where there are three strong, balanced items, similar in height. Trust your initial reaction. If things appear too busy, they are.

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Height is a big thing for me. It’s okay to do things in a wave- low, high, low. Just make sure that when you look at your shelves- and I don’t mean stare and overthink them- they feel balanced. Look at the diagonal. Does it have a good flow?

Lastly, you may have a lot of beautiful things, I know we do! I like to put things on our IKEA cube shelves in our storage room where I can see, them, so I can easily change out what’s in our living room, or in other areas of the house. It keeps things fresh. I’ve been to so many homes where it looks like the shelves have been thrown up on, and if they were just willing to switch things out from time to time, rather than have 800 things out at a time, they’d really enjoy their home more.

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Most of all, trust yourself. Whether you’re renting or not, it is your home. Make it yours! Don’t allow yourself to get frustrated, and just keep the shelves empty. Unpack, try some different configurations, and do what feels right.

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Roller Coaster

Lake Zurich- Even on the cloudiest days, still one of my happy places.

Lake Zurich- Even on the cloudiest days, still one of my happy places.

I’ve been in a difficult space the last few weeks.  Moving back to the US has been like a rollercoaster of highs and lows.  Yes, I read all the articles and books that told me I’d feel this way, and that it would be difficult, but it’s like explaining sex to a virgin.  You can explain the science, but the feelings don’t make sense until it happens.

I’ve been carrying the weight of our simultaneously happy and sad girls.  The holidays are coming and everyday someone is sad that they aren’t “home”.  It’s left me a little fried, and frankly, with little room for me to write to process how I’m feeling.

I feel like there’s guilt that comes with taking time for yourself.  Yes, we see things advertising self-care all over the place, and that we need to give ourselves grace.  But, as much as I love my eye cream, it doesn’t feel the same as when I give myself the grace to take a moment to myself or accept failure.  I’m a perfectionist.  Failure is hard for me.  I overthink and pick myself apart when I’m not careful.  I think a lot of people do this and feel like it’s just something that we do- and it is, but I think it’s something to catch yourself on. 

Sometimes we all need a healthy look in the mirror to recognize that we are okay.  Being tired when life is tiring is okay.  Feeling fried when you’re caring for little people, or old people, or a sick or emotionally draining partner is okay.  Being human is okay.  I’m too tired right now to pretend that everything is perfect.  It’s not!  But our kids are happy when they aren’t crying for “their Switzerland”.  They’re thrilled to have their awesome schools, sweet friends, and American candy, bbq and soul food.  And lord, they are thankful for good old American burgers.

Meanwhile, for myself, I’m looking forward to getting back in the groove of sharing regularly.  This Sunday, I will FINALLY be sharing an amazing interview with my lovely, supportive friend, Susan Bradfield.  She’s an Aussie photographer that I met in Zurich.  She’s a wonderful photography teacher, landscape and travel photographer, and does beautiful family photos.  I look forward to sharing her journey into photography, as well as some fabulous photography advice.

I have a lot of fun things in the works- styling your home and hearth for the holidays, yummy recipes, and interviews with some of my fabulous friends.  Thanks for your patience during this crazy transition.  I’m really excited for what’s to come.

Our 4 year-old took this when we were taking photos in Provence. It popped up on my phone today and was a gentle reminder to let things be.

Our 4 year-old took this when we were taking photos in Provence. It popped up on my phone today and was a gentle reminder to let things be.

"The Good Stuff"

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A month or so ago, we moved back to America.  Since then, I’ve been very busy trying to build a home for our children, help them navigate American culture (we have one daughter that was born in Switzerland, one that lived there since she was 2, and one daughter who has spent half her life in Europe- America feels foreign to them).  During my down time, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts.  I’ve been flipping through my travel notebooks, and I had a short story that reminded me about my drive to spread what I have lovingly referred to since the beginning of my blog, as “the good stuff”.

When I was last in Florence, I was walking through the Ognissanti from Santa Maria Novella.  A man was walking behind me, whistling.  For whatever reason, he startled me.  I stepped to the side of the sidewalk, as I often do when I get nervous, or a feel someone too close to me.  As I did this, the man apologized for frightening me.  It’s a moment I’ll never forget.

I feel like we live in a time where we highlight every awful thing.  We fail to recognize the positive moments.  We don’t publicize shows of respect or acts of kindness.  How is this to change if we don’t share our positive stories - both big and seemingly small?  How will people learn that the way they behave matters?  If the only ones getting press are people that hurt or emotionally wound others, how will good ever truly prevail?

Sure, having information about the scary things in the world arms us to protect ourselves, but at what point is it too much?  At what point will we recognize if we focus more on the positive, if we share more of “the good stuff”, that positive influence will spread, and I truly believe, create change.

This is a call to action for all of you out there.  If you see something positive, please share it.  If you want to share it on my blog, reach out!  I want to share the amazing things people are doing- big, small, and creative.  I have personally experienced more than once how an act of compassion or kindness that feels small to you, often has a big impact on others, and those around them.  Share your stories! #thegoodstuff

Celebrating Yourself

It’s funny how you can hate a day.  Since I was five, I’ve hated my birthday.  I always secretly wanted it to turn out well, but every time I held out hope, something traumatic or disastrous would happen.  It wasn’t until I met my husband that I allowed anyone to really celebrate my birthday- and even he was stunned to see how the day always ended in calamity.

That said, I’ve always made a big fuss over the birthdays of the people I love- especially my husband and our kids.  On each of our girls’ birthdays, I’m reminded of the days they were born.  Those are the most deeply meaningful moments of my life.

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Our girls get the royal treatment for their birthday week (yes, I’m a crazy mommy who puts balloons in the hallway and streamers on their doors).  So, when our eldest became old enough to understand when my birthday is, she wanted to celebrate me the way that I celebrate her and her sisters.  She wanted to understand why it’s okay to celebrate daddy, our close family friends, and our family, but not me.  It was kind of a rude awakening that I was celebrating the lives of the people I love, but I wasn’t honoring their desire to celebrate me.

We all mean something to someone.  Our actions and inactions affect the people around us.  Life is worth celebrating!  It’s worth recognizing that the world would not be what it is without you in it.  I’ve begun to look at my birthday as in a day that in the past, hurt and scarred me in a lot of ways, but without those scars and traumas, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.  I may not have had such a keen desire to share positivity and acts of kindness, had I not experienced heartbreak.  I wouldn’t be so focused on raising builders and not breakers, if I hadn’t been broken down. 

So, here’s some homework.  Whether it’s your birthday or not, take a moment to be grateful for your life.  Celebrate that you have the ability to show love and be loved.  In a world that’s hungry for love, positivity, encouragement and most of all, hope, I think the best thing we can do is celebrate life.  Enjoy life.  Be Kind.  Build up the people around you, and recognize that a life well lived, and being your best, but forgiving yourself when you’re at your worst, is one of the best gifts you can every give yourself, and the people around you. 

I was once told that you can change someone’s life by merely looking at it.  If that is true, let’s be mindful about how we’re looking.

More Joy, Less Stress

Things have been busier than normal the last few weeks, and I realized that I needed to take a moment and reevaluate how I’ve been spending my time.   

This week I made a commitment to get the things that were necessary (like my arch-nemesis, Laundry) done while the kids were at school, so that after school we could play and go on a few adventures.  Maybe this sounds like an obvious change, but I feel as if I’ve been so busy going through the motions, fighting to stay on top of work and family, that I’ve been missing out on enjoying both.

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Interestingly enough, a close friend sent me an article about self-care, and it resonated with me.  Self-care isn’t about going out and buying some aromatherapy candle or doing a face mask- it’s about doing things that make your life feel balanced and calm.  For me, that means having time to go to go on dates with my husband, attending Forest Club with our eldest daughter, baking with our middle daughter, and playing blocks with our baby.  If I don’t get enough time with my husband and our girls- especially one-on-one, I don’t feel like I’m living my best life.  If the laundry piles up and the dishes aren’t done, it makes me feel as if I’m suffocating.  Yes, this sounds dramatic, but I may or may not have a small case of OCD, and a house in disarray affects my psyche.

Committing to scheduling the things I don’t enjoy doing so that I could do the things I love to do gave me such a sense of accomplishment and freedom.  Yes, I see the irony in putting freedom and schedule in the same sentence.  I think this is one of those times in life where I’ve had to recognize that I have too much going on in my life NOT to schedule the mundane tasks that make life function.  Knowing that those things will be done, and have a time to be done, afford me the ability to be more fluid with my personal time.  This results in me feeling more present with the people in my life, and able to fill my time with more fun.

I know that I won’t maintain the schedule every week.  I know that I’ll overschedule myself sometimes (this is kind of a chronic occurrence for me- overbook myself, do all the things, burn out, recognize I need to slow down and chill out, rinse and repeat), but I’m hoping that I can make it a better habit to make more time for joy and less time for stress.  It’s not romantic to schedule life, but sometimes you need to create a routine to feel balanced, and to have room to be spontaneous.  After all, you can’t throw away and replace every load of laundry, rather than wash it.  Especially not when you have three kids!!  And you certainly can’t jump in the car and go on a spontaneous road trip if no one has anything to wear.

Check in on Monday for tips on visiting Seville!

Check in on Monday for tips on visiting Seville!