It’s funny how you can hate a day. Since I was five, I’ve hated my birthday. I always secretly wanted it to turn out well, but every time I held out hope, something traumatic or disastrous would happen. It wasn’t until I met my husband that I allowed anyone to really celebrate my birthday- and even he was stunned to see how the day always ended in calamity.

That said, I’ve always made a big fuss over the birthdays of the people I love- especially my husband and our kids. On each of our girls’ birthdays, I’m reminded of the days they were born. Those are the most deeply meaningful moments of my life.

Our girls get the royal treatment for their birthday week (yes, I’m a crazy mommy who puts balloons in the hallway and streamers on their doors). So, when our eldest became old enough to understand when my birthday is, she wanted to celebrate me the way that I celebrate her and her sisters. She wanted to understand why it’s okay to celebrate daddy, our close family friends, and our family, but not me. It was kind of a rude awakening that I was celebrating the lives of the people I love, but I wasn’t honoring their desire to celebrate me.

We all mean something to someone. Our actions and inactions affect the people around us. Life is worth celebrating! It’s worth recognizing that the world would not be what it is without you in it. I’ve begun to look at my birthday as in a day that in the past, hurt and scarred me in a lot of ways, but without those scars and traumas, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. I may not have had such a keen desire to share positivity and acts of kindness, had I not experienced heartbreak. I wouldn’t be so focused on raising builders and not breakers, if I hadn’t been broken down.

So, here’s some homework. Whether it’s your birthday or not, take a moment to be grateful for your life. Celebrate that you have the ability to show love and be loved. In a world that’s hungry for love, positivity, encouragement and most of all, hope, I think the best thing we can do is celebrate life. Enjoy life. Be Kind. Build up the people around you, and recognize that a life well lived, and being your best, but forgiving yourself when you’re at your worst, is one of the best gifts you can every give yourself, and the people around you.

I was once told that you can change someone’s life by merely looking at it. If that is true, let’s be mindful about how we’re looking.

A little over nine years ago, I found out I was pregnant with our first child. We didn’t know what we were having, but I had a strong feeling it was a girl. Being pregnant made me reevaluate a lot of the things I thought about women- and having female friendships. I realized that while I valued and loved my male friends dearly, they would never truly understand what it is to be a mother, what it is to carry a child, and most of all- what it is to be a woman.

A year into being a mother, we moved to Greenville, SC. I joined my first “mom group”. It was more intimidating than trying out for a cheerleading squad. These women were from all walks of life, and they all seemed to know what they were doing. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing, and I was aware that I didn’t know. In retrospect, I think some of them just faked it better than others, because let’s be real, when it comes to parenting, no one knows what the heck they’re doing. No one.

The thing about joining a “mom group” or trying to make mom friends, that no one tells you, is that it’s like dating. It’s so awful until you start to accept the kind of mom you are and recognize the kind of friends you really want. After a while, I got better at quickly discerning who was going to become a good friend, and who would be “filler”, or nothing at all.

After moving so many times, I’ve made so many wonderful, amazing girlfriends, that I often wonder how I’d gotten through life this long without them. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown so much as a person. I don’t think I would be the person I am without the love, support, and respect of my tribe.

Many of my girlfriends have kids. My friends range from high-level business women to artists, stay-at-home moms to philanthropists. They are all strong women who are encouraging the next generation of children to be strong, open, kind, and focused on creating positive things for a better world.

And as great as these moms are, the idea that you need to have children to be an influencer, encourager, or inspiration to the future generations is bull. The idea that women with children can’t be friends with women without children is unhealthy and antiquated, and frankly, it’s holding women back. Women need to support women. People need to support people. In a time where 9 out of 10 news articles are terrifying, where message boards about travel, parenting, or the color yellow are riddled with fear mongering, we NEED to support one another. We NEED to spread the good stuff. Support the positive. Spread the positive, not the negative.

On Sunday, I will be sharing an interview with Sara Amrhein. She is an amazing artist, a wonderful person, and a positive force in the world. Beginning this month, I will be posting monthly interviews with inspiring artists, business people, and spreaders of the “good stuff”. If you have someone you are inspired by, that you would like to nominate for an interview, please email me at cara@bowandbranch.com.