"The Good Stuff"

A month or so ago, we moved back to America.  Since then, I’ve been very busy trying to build a home for our children, help them navigate American culture (we have one daughter that was born in Switzerland, one that lived there since she was 2, and one daughter who has spent half her life in Europe- America feels foreign to them).  During my down time, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts.  I’ve been flipping through my travel notebooks, and I had a short story that reminded me about my drive to spread what I have lovingly referred to since the beginning of my blog, as “the good stuff”.

When I was last in Florence, I was walking through the Ognissanti from Santa Maria Novella.  A man was walking behind me, whistling.  For whatever reason, he startled me.  I stepped to the side of the sidewalk, as I often do when I get nervous, or a feel someone too close to me.  As I did this, the man apologized for frightening me.  It’s a moment I’ll never forget.

I feel like we live in a time where we highlight every awful thing.  We fail to recognize the positive moments.  We don’t publicize shows of respect or acts of kindness.  How is this to change if we don’t share our positive stories - both big and seemingly small?  How will people learn that the way they behave matters?  If the only ones getting press are people that hurt or emotionally wound others, how will good ever truly prevail?

Sure, having information about the scary things in the world arms us to protect ourselves, but at what point is it too much?  At what point will we recognize if we focus more on the positive, if we share more of “the good stuff”, that positive influence will spread, and I truly believe, create change.

This is a call to action for all of you out there.  If you see something positive, please share it.  If you want to share it on my blog, reach out!  I want to share the amazing things people are doing- big, small, and creative.  I have personally experienced more than once how an act of compassion or kindness that feels small to you, often has a big impact on others, and those around them.  Share your stories! #thegoodstuff

Mastering Self-Doubt

“Self-doubt robs you of your potential.”  About a year ago, our eldest daughter asked me what I dreamt of doing as a girl.  When I thought about it, all of my girlish hopes ran through my mind…pediatrician (my mathematical abilities and self-doubt killed that one), fashion designer (again, confidence was not my strong suit), superhero (okay, that one may have been a reach), the list goes on.

When I got pregnant with our first baby, I read every pregnancy and parenting book out there.  I’m really not kidding.  I read about the militant moms, the crunchy moms, the moms that stopped showering, doctors who are moms, fashionistas who are moms, you name it, I read it.  My takeaway was this:  No one knows what the hell they’re doing.  No one.  And I’m fairly sure we should all start saving for therapy the moment we pee on the stick, because frankly, no matter how amazing or present of a parent you are, you’re going to mess these humans up.  Because, hold on to your bootstraps…you’re human.

So how does this relate to self-doubt?  Here’s how.  If you doubt yourself, if you listen to that horrible, whiny, vicious bitch in your mind, I can guarantee you that you will accomplish nothing.  I mean it.  Nothing.

Chew on that.

Now look in the mirror.  What’s your first instinct?  Did you pick yourself apart, or did you identify the good? 

Last Saturday, our eight-year old attended a birthday party and told me there was a girl there who wouldn’t eat a donut because she didn’t want to be fat.  I told Laela that I personally believe that if you say unkind things about your body, your body can hear you, and you should treat yourself with kindness.  Do you eat a hundred donuts?  No.  But it’s equally unhealthy to tell yourself that donuts are the devil.  Extremism and negative self-talk are the enemy here.

None of us are perfect.  Maybe you have a slightly big nose, maybe your ears stick out.  Maybe you’re amazing at math, but can barely spell your name.  You can choose to focus on those things you consider shortcomings, you can dwell on the things that you’re not so great at, or you can channel that focus into positive self-talk.  You may surprise yourself by how much you can accomplish by believing in yourself.

The moment we had our first child, I realized that she is watching me.  She is watching how I speak to myself, how I speak about myself, and how I treat myself.  Being a positive role model isn’t just about how we treat others or what we do - it’s about showing kindness to ourselves.  I hear myself in our children on a daily basis (sometimes this is hilarious, sometimes terrifying). 

I was so awful to myself for so many years.  I took every negative thing that was said to me, and I held it inside as if my heart were a safe for all those horrible things.  One day, I decided that I wasn’t going to hear that inner critic anymore.  It’s taken almost ten years, and removing negative, detrimental people from my life, but I feel good about my choices and I learn from my mistakes.  I’m (usually) kind to myself.

Being kind to yourself is just as important as eating healthy and exercising regularly.  It enables you to reach your true potential (which if you allow yourself, may surprise you).  Be kind.  Do your best.  Work hard.  Dive into life without fear of failure, because I’m telling you, even the worst failures can be so freeing and so awesome.

This is our middle babe, Coco. She refused to be anything but Superhero Princess Coco for the last two Halloweens.  

Make Time.

For the last two weeks, my girls and I have been taking “Flat Stanley” on adventures in Zurich for our dear friend, Henry, in Georgia.  His second-grade class was inspired to use the Flat Stanley books to connect with friends or family that live far away.  You send Stanley in the post, and your friends/family send you some photos and mementos from the adventures he had.

This comes at an interesting time for our family, as we’ve been in flux about where we’re going to land after this school year.  We’ve moved seven times with our kids, and our eldest has gone to four schools.  Needless to say, we all feel like our hearts are a bit scattered across the planet.  Sometimes that causes a disconnect between friends and family, so it means a lot when people like Henry, and his supermom, Christine, make the extra effort to reach out, visit, and send small reminders that we have another “home” with people that love us.

I’ve always struggled with the idea of “home”.  I’ve moved over twenty times in my life, and I don’t ever remember feeling like a place was my home.  I’m very, very rooted in people, the majority of which I’ve met throughout the last few moves, and they’ve become the family that I never realized I needed. This has taught our girls to nurture their friendships, no matter where they are.  Call, write, send a message or photo.  Charlotte, our middle bean, is obsessed with sending letters.  The girls have a keen understanding that it takes effort to have and maintain relationships, and if I have anything positive to take away from their being uprooted so often over the last 8 years, it’s that they have a sense of just how important people are.

That said, let me leave you with some advice.  I once had a professor fill a jar with marbles.  He asked us if the jar was full.  Half the class said, yes.  The other half recognized that the jar still had space.  He then poured in sand, as a reminder that there is a lot more space in that jar than you think. 

My advice is this- make time.  Everyone is busy.  It’s our current human condition.  If you love someone, and you want to maintain a relationship with them, during your busy life, make time.  Put a reminder in your phone, or on your calendar if you kick it old school with a day-planner.  Because at the end of the day, at the end of your life, the things that matter, are your people- the builders in your life and the builders OF your life.

Welcome to Bow and Branch!

Almost two years ago, my family and I moved to Zurich, Switzerland from Atlanta, Georgia.  I was 32 weeks pregnant, moving pregnant and internationally for the second time.  Excitement ran through my veins, curiosity enveloped my brain, and hope for a great life in our new home consumed many of my thoughts.

I know, there are a lot of blogs out there about being an expat.  This is not one of those.  Sure, I’ll occasionally take you along for the ride of my expat adventures and experiences, but above all else, this site has been born out of a desire to share that the world is a truly amazing place, filled with good things and fantastic people doing great things.  I am the mother of three gorgeous girls, the wife of a global businessman, and the friend to people that live in and are from all pockets of the world.  I am also an avid traveler, lover of international food, and I have learned that the global perspective, the global lifestyle we lead is something that could start a conversation, connect people, and inspire new thoughts, ideas, and even skills.

Earlier on in this journey, I wrote a food blog for many years (if you’d like to take a trip down my memory lane, it’s still online here).  During the majority of that experience, I was a young, first-time mother who was moving every 6 months to 1 year.  I was intensely curious about cooking the food of each place we lived in the healthiest way possible for our little girl.  I immersed myself in the cultures and local cuisine of each place, taking as many cooking and baking courses as I could find.  Eventually however, after becoming pregnant with our second child, my passion started to move in a new direction.

One of our early moves was to Florence, Italy.  It was hands down the most influential move of my life.  It was also what made me slowly drift away from writing a food blog. For Italians, food is not something to be Instagrammed; it’s important for their culture, family, and sense of place.  I began thinking about things more broadly than before – my love for great food and fantastic restaurants was still there, but how could I incorporate it into something greater?

Living in a culture hub like Florence reignited my desire to chase after some of the dreams I’d been ignoring for fear of failure.  I dreamt of learning about art, interior design, antiquing, and wine and I was in the perfect place for it!  I went to so many markets, exhibitions, and pop up shops, learning about antiques and artisanal goods, and came to find (through a dear friend) that I have an eye for design and things that people want but aren’t sure how to access.  By the time we left Italy, I felt I’d finally found that what I loved were things I could do for a living when I was ready.

Now that our youngest is almost 2, I’m finally pulling the rip-cord and am chasing my dream - Bow and Branch.  I’m so excited for monthly features of business owners, artisans, and taste makers as well as frequent posts of my family’s adventures, fun finds, classes I’ve taken, and team building events I’ve hosted.  Stay tuned here for more, and also check out my Instagram and Pinterest for an extra helping of “the good stuff”!!

Appreciating the beauty and peacefulness of the Temple of Debod in Madrid.