We bow, we don’t break, we branch out. Women have this ability to see the entirety of things, the ability to find the good stuff, the ability to connect people- that’s the sisterhood showing its best self.
Eight years ago, I looked at my husband and told him that I had a feeling his career would take off in a way that would cause us to move around. He, being the most humble person I have ever met, laughed at me and kind of brushed me off. A year later, we were told that we’d be moving every year or so for a program that would accelerate his career. Here we were in our mid-twenties, about to go on the ride of our life, with our beautiful one-year old baby in tow.
Fast-forward almost a decade, and we’ve got three little girls, have lived in 8 homes, 3 countries, and 5 cities. Our kids are the most chilled out travelers you’d ever meet. They’ve eaten food you’ve only seen on “No Reservations” or read about in “National Geographic”. They don’t care what language you speak, or what you look like. They care if you’re kind, fair, and are willing to play hard on the playground.
My husband and I have learned to get by in different languages and to quickly immerse ourselves in other cultures. It’s changed the way we parent, the way we view family, and in some ways, it has helped us learn to appreciate just how valuable family time is.
You might be thinking to yourself, this woman is bonkers. Cultures aren’t that different, Western Europe is all the same, people are people no matter how you shake them, and I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong, but also that you’re right. People are people. True. But, the way you’re raised, the idea of what is and is not safe, what’s moral and immoral, that’s cultural, my friends.
Who are you at your cultural core? As an American, I’ve learned that other countries don’t lean on the cultures of their ancestors the way we do (to be fair, the vast majority of those counties are older than ours). How has it impacted your choices, who you are, your beliefs, and what you like to do?
For me, the last four and a half weeks have consisted of my family and I trying to navigate our feelings about being back in the US. It feels differently than it did from when we moved back from Italy. Very differently. We all feel like cultural melting pots, and we can’t figure out where we fit.
You know how we turn into our spouse and our friends the more we’re around them? You don’t mean to, but you do. That’s how living in a different culture for an extended period of time is. You gradually start to absorb certain aspects of that culture, whether you want or mean to. So, leaving that culture, in the same way that starting with a new set of friends, or a new spouse, is difficult. The thing is, when you’re returning to your own culture, everyone assumes you’ll be fine, but the reality is, you’re trying to wear jeans that used to fit, but they just don’t.
I’m in a fortunate situation where even though I left a place that my family and I really loved and felt at home in, we have moved to a place where there are so many people that we love so much. I have such amazing friends here in Atlanta, the kind of deep friendships that some women just don’t seem to think really exist. I’m here to tell you, sisters- your people are out there. Just be open, be kind, and give it time.
I know that I’ll see my Zurich and Florence sistahs sooner than not, and that I’m so lucky to have my Atlanta sisters to welcome my family and I home, and help us adjust. I know that in a year, I’ll have a different perspective, but right now, right now I’m trying to tread water to stay afloat. I’ll swim to shore soon. Just not yet.
